Listen: This Is Very important
Pouting is a hard thing to do. Really hard. Not just anyone can do it. But here is the disgusting thing, people–So many people think they can!
After the release of that film Zoolander, everyone on earth thought they could pout and pout well. Suddenly, after a million year pout-drought, the streets and fields and cities of this world were FULL of pouting enthusiasts who thought that just by watching a film they could cut it with the best of us.
Well I’m telling you, if that’s you, you can’t. So don’t bother.
Pouting is sacred, you see. It should be well and truly left alone unless you know exactly what you’re doing. It’s like anything–training to become a doctor or becoming a priest. It’s a special, almost spiritual journey. My point? Not everyone is suitable for such a journey, just as not everyone is built with the right physique to make it all the way along the
And no, if you thought this was going to turn in to some ‘how to pout guide’ then you are very much mistaken. And also no, I will not give out any professional advice such as 'vitamin a skin cream is good for pouting'(which for the record it is not, so ha!). It is not turning in to this at all! The very thought of such a guide makes my skin crawl.
So there you go, you have been warned. Pout well or pout and die!