Tea Bag Types
If you actually checked how many types of tea exist then the shock of so much unadulterated wonder might actually kill you on the spot. I am not joking, and this is no exagerration. That’s why the supermarkets don’t go out of their way to push tea in your face. They don’t have enough insurance to make doing it worthwhile. They’d have numerous dead-bodies on their hands, and unless it happened at the Co-op (who also run funeral parlours) it wouldn’t be much good for business.
That’s why I have been to the supermarket, risking life and limb for your sake. A frightening mission, but I prepared properly—as a soldier would to go into the fiercest battle of his life. After a brief hypnosis session, designed to make the supermarket mission less overpowering on my standard man-heart, I went and I conquered. And I am alive to tell the tale.
What I discovered made my skin shake: actually shake people! The varieties–the diversity of it all; they say that there are more animals on Earth than anything else, or something, but they clearly have never looked through every type of tea. If they had they would know that there is twice as much tea as species of animals on Earth, and most of that can be found solely in popular supermarkets!
Now, the draw-string debate is what struck me immediately. They were everywhere! Draw-string bags and bags without. It was the sin of sins! Everyone, even the dimmest tea drinker, knows that the draw-string bag is the way of the lazy cuppa. No, to achieve the greatest imaginable flavour one must opt for the regular bag, normally square. So please, when you see someone debating over the two types, please step in. As a society we can’t afford this confusion any longer!